Catullus Carmen 69

You shouldn’t wonder why there aren’t any girls,
Rufus, who’ll let you get between their thighs.
Even when you tempt them with gifts of skimpy
clothes or the sparkliest of pretty rocks.
What hurts you is a nasty rumour, spread about you
That you’ve got a savage goat living in your armpits
This is what scares them away, no wonder, it’s rancid
A beast no pretty girl should go to bed with.
So kill this thing that offends our noses
Or stop wondering why they run away.

Noli admirari quare tibi femina nulla,
Rufe, velit tenerum supposuisse femur,
non si illam rarae labefactes munere vestis
aut perluciduli deliciis lapidis.
laedit te quaedam mala fabula, qua tibi fertur
valle sub alarum trux habitare caper.
hunc metuunt omnes; neque mirum: nam mala valdest
bestia, nec quicum bella puella cubet.
quare aut crudelem nasorum interfice pestem,
aut admirari desine cur fugiant.

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